The Songs : And I'm Not


Music (4/04, 1/05, 6/05) Words (3-4/03, 4-5/04, 9/04)
*Finished* 6/05

All around the room I feel the tension start to climb
and everything I've wanted to, I've tried to do in time
to even out the process, this only seems fair
especially when finding out the details that you spare

I wanted to
find out from you
but you wouldn't tell me
you couldn't tell me
you didn't tell me

I wanted to
find out from you
but you wouldn't tell me
you couldn't tell me
you didn't tell me anything

Found inside the attic when there was no one around
and it took everything inside to finally calm me down
as simple as a picture relieves you of belief
silence digs a deeper trench than the loudest deceit

I wanted to
find out from you
but you wouldn't tell me
you couldn't tell me
you didn't tell me

I wanted to
find out from you
but you wouldn't tell me
you couldn't tell me
you didn't tell me anything

Well, those other 30 songs
might've been for you
but this one's for me
and in fact
I'm taking all the other ones back

I try not to be disgusted
but itís hard to be constructive
when I think of all the times you mustíve lied
though I love to be dismissive
after that you still resisted
and to think that all you had to do was try

I try not to be disgusted
but I know when Iíve mistrusted
to this day you have the courage to deny
and you hate to be submissive
but you were when I insisted
that my future was about to pass you by

Youíre uptight and Iím not
Youíre not bright and Iím not
Youíre too cold and Iím not
Youíve been sold and Iíve not
Youíre of the world and Iím not
Youíre such a girl and I am not
Youíre so fly and Iím not
Youíre untied and Iím a knot
Youíre a pessimist and Iím not
Youíre a bitch and Iím not
I am home but youíre not
Youíre alone... and Iím not

* * *

Background:
Music: the first song written (partially) on the new Taylor guitar! written to fit half of lyrics already written; additional lyrics written to fit the other half of music already done. Not completely finished until well after the lyrics were done, and taking over a year when all was said and done.
Lyrics: half done a year before the other half were written. this one's about a lot of people. finally finished, I think, in 9/04 when I filled in the mysteriously missing second verse. half done without any music, other half written after music. although in the song, its the first half of the lyrics that were written after the second half. It starts out as a normal song, verse chorus verse chorus, but then goes into a bridge and another outro-bridge and just ends like that. Too many fuckin' lyrics. But I really like some of them.


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